Overdosing on fried foods, a Guy Fieri-inspired post

If you are looking for a laugh, I recommend two recent reviews of Food Network star Guy Fieri's new Times Square restaurant. One in The New York Times (paywall) and another in The New York Observer. I read these articles with schadenfreude and some regret. Because I too fell into a Fieri-style trap and overdosed on unhealthy fried foods last weekend.

Clare and Don's Beach Shack is the scene of my crime, located at 130 North Washington Street in Falls Church, Virginia. This beach-themed restaurant in a landlocked suburb is a 20-minute walk from the Metro. That long walk was the only thing healthy about my Clare and Don's visit.

When you ask about vegan options here, the staff digs out a much-worn pink menu with the vegan and vegetarian preparation options detailed in full. It's painful to admit that my boyfriend and I didn't even attempt to order something redeeming from this menu, like a side veg or chopped salad. 

Photographed here are three deep fried dishes, with "dippin' sauce." From the top is the "Phish and Chips," in the middle is the "Uncrabcake Sandwich" and below are "Tofu Balls."  All of these dishes ended up tasting the exact same. They had a great first bite but crashed me into the fried foods wall quickly. Just looking at the photos, days later, makes me nauseous. I think I've now officially exceeded my annual quota for battered and fried tofu. Maybe I'll skip it entirely in 2013.